Let's talk about this then..........

Time lies. Suddenly everything seems to have passed by. Milestones withstanding, we still think that we have all of the time to make things right. There always seems to be a chance to make amends, to say sorry, to take a class, to apply for a job, to help someone. What there is now are regrets, wishes and coulda's. Nothing really seems to make sense till it's past it's time. then we start seeing lovers, parents, friends as we should have. They start making sense. Nothing to do with life is ever supposed to make sense. Unless you are the teacher. I think half the time I really have no idea what I want. Might seem scary to some of the more established persons...but where I come from, it's the experience that counts. Plans only count as plans. They preview it. They serve to create and attitude towards something. Here, we experience stuff and look back and say " we should do this again."

Sudden lovers. Vows. Responsibilities and long days. Every thing looks different from here. I know I'm supposed to be appreciating some of these things around me nowadays. But what is the priority? I have recently realized the sky is beautiful. I do not know if it is from total ignorance or the lack of time but the last time I stared at the stars...I was a juvenile full of dreams, emotions. Suddenly this looks interesting. Deja vu like. Suddenly I notice the tingle, the smile. Only, just because...the pace of life let me off a little. I will be back to my routine days soon as the next deadline comes along.

Nothing really makes sense here. There is no black and white. There are hues, degrees and one is supposed to make sense of it all by some magical manner. Things are no longer so blunt. So direct. So honest. We play a game. it's called Mature. Mature has rules. It's social manners. Its not blurting out. It's saying the right thing. Its not hurting feelings. We all get into roles. Start playing nice. In Mature, people confuse security with boredom. Boredom with comfortability, quietness with contentment, money with success. In this room all things are magnified. Everything is in our face but we all choose to be oblivious to it. Everything seems bad, mediocre, small, selfish. Truth here is not appreciated. It is hawked like everything else inclusive of dignity. Everything here does not make sense after all. Everything here is in vain.

I feel like we lost it... we so deep. And we have no idea where some of the values went to.