I knew we was done....

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,
That's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college

buddy(-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can- eat night(-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is

painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy

Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter

what]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what

looks like a concerned __expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

pass it on to the guys for info & to the girls for a good laugh

Referenced but not declared...

Damn this computer language can be confusing and downright capable of making me look illiterate....aaarrrggh...and all i had to do was add the XML code to my webpage.... Shit...guess I have a sour grapes story for this event to.

Having a frustrating afternoon with the internet, computers and all this. Even blogging has become a challenge for the brave...in the words of my nephew... "maneno imekuwa ngumu"... I really need to have a coffee before I take this out on someone...

On a positive note... I really think I'm addicted to all this Internet everywhere....Blogging, Twittering, on Facebook, Blogging....research. How long till I fall. The last person I ever have a true conversation includes 3 of my friends and my girlfriend...the rest are banished to 2nd tier friendship...relations to be discussed via an internet social networking site. Not complaining though, since I spend most of my hours there I must be the one friend they can't get rid of. LOL. Posts are the new "hi's"... don't we all love facebook status posts...the serious ones, the happy ones, the TMI ones and the ones we stare in awe...then we comment.. then we feel we are close to you ...then we go back to work then we comment again. Arrrgghhhh.... Emails with the Queen's english have been banished.... Wonder what will happen when that fiber optic actually goes live.... All this internet madness repeated at the confines of my home...armed with a laptop even in the loo.

Interneats Anonymous...that's my new rehab place... Maybe I will check in tomorrow....Maybe.

Napenda Uhuru Kenyatta

There's great fascination, excitement, appreciation for Mr Finance Minister after yesterday's budget reading..... Young Kenyans are ecstatic...you need to see the Facebook posts and blogs to see how loving Uhuru looks right now for not increasing the price of Alcohol and what is relevant to us in our quest to get laid in this city of ours.. The things that unite kenyans will always be baffling. If elections were to be held today there will be no competition whatsoever in relation to who was going to do a repeat of Barca over Man U.... Stimulus package for the constituencies?? Walalala...Uhuru had this shit figured out mpaka watu wamesahau the "9Bn error".

So pint might remain at the same prices from last year...mmhhh and cosmetics duty goes down from some high percentage - 20% to 5%- is this bad news or what...??!!! The over made up women we had to deal with earlier and now this...like I said earlier, I can imagine how the rave and nightspots will be like minefields...LOL. You might just end up picking the scariest of them all. But she smells good. Wonder what the government wanted to achieve with that piece of irrelevant genius. Can you imagine the number of men who will be screaming their asses off on Sunday morning on seeing the previously hot woman without make up....It's gonna be Scary Sundays Galore and you're all invited. They all going to be traumatized into church. Of all the good gifts that we recieve, this one I am skeptical of. Just more coating and cheap perfume if I might say.

It is also worthy to note how Kenyans feel they need to know how the Budget affects their well being..yet this Friday we all going to be at the bars drinking all our potential savings. If you thought we have peculiar calling habits think again.... we have everything peculiar...from raves, to weddings and how we end up having the whole family at the airport when taking the flight to Malawi....Just Malawi. LOL. One more reason to love this country of ours.

P.S; I'm having a deja vu time right now..I have been here before.....Haven't we all.

I bet u gonna laugh!!!.

A Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Manchester United fan were all in Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Liverpool fan was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The ManU fan was next up. After watching the Scouser in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the ManU fan was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

The Arsenal fan was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support one of the biggest club in the world and your team is the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", he replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but, 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"? "Tie the Man U fan to my back.