I come off worse when I plan.....
I don't have fun when I have a plan....It's all a routine.
It's like I can tell the future when I plan for stuff.... I live as a predictive text, the evening.
So this is the dillema...At what point do I need to be spontaneous.... At the expense of being a robot..devoid of emotion? A creature of habit? As much as it may seem "in" to be the spontaneous person, we fucking need a plan. The truth hurts!!!
So a 25yr old baby actually turns up at 20th. I really like the part that she broke my plan....I had a ball ( fun I mean). I did not count the time till event lapse. Fuck I enjoyed myself!!!! U wanna know the funny thing about all this....I felt guilty I did not do what I planned for.... Meaning not doing things my way but her way.
I'm a freak for habit...I love order...at what price I'm realizing some odd 20yrs later...I'm not comfortable with losing control...this is what spontaneity does in my case or so I think....Who are u to judge me anyway....
I faced my fear today....I'm lyyyyyiiiiing...order is what defines me. For a moment I believe that something will go wrong.....for a moment I believe that I'm in control...for now I think I'm having fun...
For now I'm one for order....that's the Utopia my mind is comfortable with. For a moment, I'm at peace.....
My blog....my thoughts....
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2 comments:
I think being Spontaneous is the epitome of an adrenaline rush if you still manage to execute the priorities of what's needed to be done and still get to be spontaneous...One thing with plans is that after a while it gets to be a routine, and with routine comes monotony and with monotony came gross raw robotic boredom....just my 2 Zimbabwe dollars worth of comment...
That's more like 2 Billion Zimbwabwe $'s worth of input...makes sense though...
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