I work in a Warehouse buiding partitioned into offices, drenched with objectives, punctuated by extreme office politics. Phones are ringing, loose weekend chatter is the norm on Mondays, my gloomy hung'overed face the rule on such days... From outside it might be fascinating, from the inside, I feel gloom for this battlefield. I've lost desire for this, I feel like the end for this....
I'm quite demanding, when it comes to situations, moments, people I would spend a percentage of my life with. Conversations have to be absorbing, interesting, actions involving, sensational.... work challenging, rewarding and educational.... now everything looks ... glum... indifferent, poorly constructed... or maybe I just lost interest. I believe all situations are built with an end and a termination point in sight.. that one day it will have to be gone for normal and natural interactions to be gone, we wear off people, relationships... we grow unsatisfied of college courses, work opportunities, we urge for a better car or lover.... we hate our situation and grasp for another... Currently I am at that stage with this gig, I feel nothing. like standing in empty walls, like an unfullfiled promise, like being cheated out of something, I am just there!!!
Well, after 4yrs, I would believe it was time to move on nevertheless... Comfort zone or whatever, I need to find some new challenges and demands. I want to feel special and needed.. I want to get over this stage. Maybe I'm just not satisfied...
Oh! Did not go to BBQ on the weekend... My Virgo mode just kicked in on Friday and I spent all weekend indoors... Like really.
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